not me

What's put in front of me is the so-called "freedom of choice" - take it or leave it.
yet it's a choice almost - just almost - impossible to make
I hate what the system - suppose i'm part of - has put me through
but I also hate those who think they're better without going through all that
and "you don't have to pay 5-6000$ to do THAT!"
I'm so close, so close to accepting it and to make myself accepted
"why? why does even talking about it bring tears to your eyes?"
if, only if, you could see it from my perspective
something I've always wanted for life, my sole goal and possible ambition
"I have to do it" that's my compromised answer
doesn't it mean I AM part of the system because I firmly believe in what it may bring
and what it may alter
the reason why I've been resisting it
- You seem like a complete different person when you are around people who make art.
ok, because you're not part of it. you are not.
nor me.