at work at last

I think of the typical scene as a middle-aged woman kneeing down on the floor working on a bucket of kimchi, or moi-chi, or just any kind of food...

The new term has started and I for some reason feel much revived at the beginning of this 2nd semester, perhaps the holiday has served me well. Yet this does not mean I am in any way happier about my my/research/project (if there is one). "Just have fun" and "Relax" are the 2 phrases that have come up again and again i conversations i have within peers. "How can i not?!" is usually the initiate o.s., now that i've thought about it again, i think what they are referring to is not my attitude, but my mind-set.

"從前有個人叫小蔡, 後來就被端走了.." - Is there anything wrong if you find this funny? I don't think so, it would only show what sort of age group and culture you belong to (vaguely). Then why can't people see it the same way with the so-called "pessimism" (that which i would rather refer to as "optimism"). Do you see the glass half-full or half-empty? Do you eat your favourite dish first or you leave it to finish last? How about, are you left- or right-hander? Most conventions based on statistics may demonstrate certain traces of tendency; they are, however, not crucial in general application. Someone who is never content is a pessimist because s/he does not realise what good s/he's already had? I say that s/he is an optimist because s/he sees the world as a better place to be and complains because s/he would like to change the dissatisfying situation.

"Well, Sylvie, you see that's how a creative person works.. Sometimes the work doesn't come out the way you'd like it to be, yet you just have to keep working..." Very encouraging though there's basically no logic in there. I guess the secret behind my mysterious motivation is that i've found people that i can actually talk to, and a more comfortable/suitable living environment -- though flashes of some good horoscope forecast has also come into mind -- LOL. My research 'for' the critical studies has helped me gain a better ground on understanding the ideology of theory and practice, though i still can't really get my head around practice. I don't deny that reading and analysing (and perhaps my inevitable generalising) have produced me such pleasure that somehow makes me believe that by doing all these, I could become a better being...

I have also developed some level of interest in looking at traditional paintings -- here i mean the representational oil paintings in Taiwan in the 40s-50s -- the sort of painting that I consider ugly and even phony depictions of taiwan. Yet looking back from now, I cannot ignore its historical and social significance. What I'd really like to find out more about is the post-war western art developments in taiwan (yea thanks for all the invasions), and perhaps its absence during that 3o years of martial law. There's so much material that's been dismissed within my personal research, and i've never thought this could have been of any interest cos "it's not me. "

You don't hear me, but you see me. Yes, I'll be around.