Where I'd rather be...

"I thought I had been coping it well,
I thought everything had been okay..."

That night I saw no stars
the world was lit by the candles
placed outside of each
and every window of the residence

Hearts contented
radiant smiles awakened
my long confused soul

"Let's go for a walk.."
I suggested
"Sure, where to?"

"I DON'T KNOW!"

I hate my job
I so hate my fucking job

Idiots in this world
who degrade others
only to have their pathetic
perverted

PLEASURE

"Hey... fish and lamb are on halfs please"
"Haven't you called that before?"
"O have I?"
"Don't call them halfs, they are ON HALF"
"OK, ON HALF PLEASE"

"Um.. fish, lamb, chicken and venison.. they are all on half"
"Hey guess what? They are all finished out there so I am not replacing anything!"
"Right, just to let you know though. Do what you like."

I don't know what I am doing.. I don't know what I have been doing.. and what fuck I've done!! I miss France, I miss it so much. Well, ask me why and I'd tell you that NO, France is not the best place on earth, but that the times I spent there has so far been my most lonesome experience -- I had an on-the-surface respectful job, enjoyed an on-the-surface cultural exchange, made a few on-the-surface friends.. Do I like loneliness? Shall thy be void, life would have thy fulfilled.

The only way to stop meeting someone you like right before you leave is to STAY. I thought I had no reason, again and again I ignored myself. "Women are irrational creatures.." little did I know was my absurdity cut us deeply and had us seperated.. "whatever you do you 'll still be my little Hsiao hui for ever" he said.

Selfish but I liked it.

I am sorry but this time I do want to make it happen, I do not want to lose myself again. I see the chance and I want to seize it -- even though happiness is so short-lived, even just for a fraction of a moment... I hear it -- a voice speaks of my undeniable will, it tells me to go for a ride, an adventurous ride. And hold on, just try to hold on, the road will lead me there...

Way up there!.
.
.
.
CLIMAX
.
.
.
Therefore I am happy
and therefore I am also nervous
There with you I go
where ever it may be.
Ask me
just ask me and I would say yes.

then I'd have you waiting
for a hundred years max.

LOL

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